What Sundays Are For Me.

Published by knightofsteel on

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I see so many people always looking forward to the weekend or Sundays so that they can relax and take a break. The weekend almost comes as a messianic figure for so many people in their daily lives. My opinion is something else, something which emerged from my experiences in 2015-17. The two years when almost every day of my life was a Sunday.

You wake up; you eat, poop, lie in bed, watch a screen, lie in bed, watch a screen, scroll, eat, scroll some more, run, play, bathe, eat and sleep. That is the cycle that I got myself into. It was what my life had become. All of this was interspersed with thoughts of self-hate and self-harm.

It is fun at first. You enjoy the relaxation, the lack of apparent responsibilities and all the freedom that comes with it, until one day you don’t. One day you wake up and realize that you are stuck in a pattern, a cycle of sloth and laziness that you cannot get out of. Slowly, the relaxation turns into boredom and freedom becomes a shackle in itself, restraining us from doing something productive.

Slowly it becomes toxic and you struggle to even remember what you used to do when it wasn’t like this, what it was like to go outside and what it was like to be a part of something. You end up becoming a waste of human resources and your mind, free from the work that would otherwise keep it busy, runs amok and makes you hate yourself more.

It is on days like these that people who tell depressed people to stay busy in some work seem sensible but the problem is this advice only works when it hasn’t been too long and the mind can be recovered from distractions, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.

This is why Sundays make me feel icky. I am reminded of past times and rather than taking a day of rest and ease, I actually end up doing more things and working out more in the gym than on regular days.

I guess, Sunday doesn’t mean the same thing for everyone.


6 Comments

Sunita gupta · February 25, 2018 at 3:50 AM

Even God rested on Sunday after creating the world.so leave past and enjoy your Sunday.

docmee · February 26, 2018 at 12:41 AM

Sunday

docmee · February 26, 2018 at 12:42 AM

Sun and day

docmee · February 26, 2018 at 12:44 AM

Two things which are the harbinger of positivity and happiness

docmee · February 26, 2018 at 12:45 AM

But life can’t be same for everyone. So Sundays can’t be same for everyone too…

Rajnandini · February 26, 2018 at 1:52 AM

Well, overtime I’ve come to realize that i don’t enjoy a Sunday either. The idea of a holiday…..the idea of staying at home and doing nothing at all doesn’t impress me anymore.

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