The Dog Blog. Part I
Hello. I am Kal. I am a 4 month old pug who lives with his humans and a little brother(?). I was a month old when I first saw my main human, he was large and strong. I used to be smaller than his foot and he would pick me up with one hand and make me lick his face. The main human was a weird one, he would lie down on the ground offering me his long strands of hair and I would lick through them like there was no tomorrow. One day he brought another one like me and kept him next to me. He was smaller in size and had a different color hair. I peed on the little guy to show my dominance the moment he thought it would be a good idea to lay in my bed. The main human seemed happy when I did it and thought it was the smaller pup who did it. Slowly the main human started calling the smaller one by a different sound than the one he used to call me. He would make a long ‘Caaaaaaal’ sound and look at me but when he looked at the little one he would make a different noise, sounded like ‘Koko’. It was then that I realized that he had given us different names to identify us and now 4 months later I sit here smart enough to be typing on a thing my human called his ‘blaug’. My human sure does love naming things
He interacts with the other humans too who feed me sometimes. The other human seem to feed my main human too at times. So I guess that makes them the human’s humans. Humans are weird. The main human has told me to refer to him as the ‘knightofsteel’ in this ‘blaug’. So does that mean humans have different names for different things? As I said these humans are damn weird. Well, ‘Knightofsteel’ or ‘ruff ruff’ as I like to call him picks up my poops when I make then, he covers my pee with a cloth or something but that is always so fun to play with. Now I have decided to be kind to my human and learned to pee on the cloth itself. I saved him the work of having to pick up the cloth and he should be thanking me for it.
The first time I peed on the cloth my human was so happy, He gave me a special biscuit. That biscuit tasted like the Dog Gods themselves had made it from their hands. Whenever I peed on the cloth he would give me a biscuit. I specially trained Coco to not pee on the cloth. This means that all the biscuits are going to be mine for all eternity.
Haha, that loser Coco.
One day when I was about 2 months old, I tried stepping down to a lower ground. These humans don’t even have a continuous ground. It is high at some places and low at others. It has grass at some places and stones at others. Don’t these humans feel enough special that they need so much in their life. When I tried to get to the lower ground, my humans started shouting my name, as if I was about to achieve something amazing. I thought I would get a biscuit if I made the jump, but it was so high. I was so scared, I didn’t know what to do. The humans cheering me up certainly helped and I jumped down and they started shouting even louder. These humans are so goddamn easy to please it’s ridiculous. I remember one day I was licking the place from where coco pees and my main human started laughing at that as well. He said we were being like ‘Jaime’ and ‘Cersie’, whoever that is. Just more names for me to know I guess.
My main human is really weird, but then again he is the only one who lets me lick his face and write his ‘blaug’.
So I guess this is the end of my first post. I will come back if my human is told by other humans that he liked what I wrote. So, everyone reading this better tell him that it was good or
I will look for you,
I will find you ,
and I WILL lick your face.
For the last line as the great Dog-san, MoonMoon said
“bhow bhow ruff yipe yipe, pant pant pant, bhow bhow bhow ruff ruff yipe, grrrrrr.”
Good night and keep licking.