The Day I Decided to Go Public.

It was the 14th of February,2017. I was struggling, struggling like I struggled everyday, I had made a big decision the day before and acted upon it which left me physically bruised and hurt. I knew I needed help, I had taken every step I could have taken to get help and I still didn’t feel any better. The nights didn’t get any shorter and the days were as painful as they always had been. I didn’t know what to do but I knew I needed to do something drastic.

I paced around my room and my house, I couldn’t think of anything, I had tried every medical way possible and still not got any results. What more could anyone do after that?My mind raced around, when a thought struck, why not let the people know about it? Why keep it a secret anymore? Maybe the collective thoughts of the people would help me in some way. Maybe they will come up with something that I have not thought of yet. So I asked around to some people I thought might help with the decision, I asked them whether sharing your problems on social media is a good idea, and the only answer i got was a big, unanimous NO. Most people thought that people wouldn’t understand my problem and would either ignore it or give an unhelpful opinion and that was a point I totally understood. Very few people, no matter how educated would get how serious my problems with depression really are, but I was desperate, I needed to do something to help. I was scared because I thought if I didn’t do it, I would spend the rest of my time sinking deeper into the pit.

I searched around on the internet, looking for opinions of people who had shared their problem with mental illness on social media and what was the response they got. It was a mixed reaction which only left me more confused. I decided to ask my parents for their opinion too. They were supportive and said that I should go for it as it would make me feel lighter and might lead to be quite helpful. So, at about 10 30 PM I sat down on my laptop and decided to jot down my issues on the facebook status update.

The response I got was amazing, so much love from people, although in long term, it remains true that people didn’t understand my problem or the seriousness of it, but at least for the short term, I was satisfied with the positive response.

So if anyone out there is wondering whether they should come out with their problems, I would say go for it, It only helps.


3 Replies to “The Day I Decided to Go Public.”

  1. It is unfortunate how many people I come across who feel much the same; that their struggle with mental illness is a complex and unique experience that few relate to. I, myself, have paced the options and treatments offered to those who struggle with mental illness only to find that if anything, it made my symptoms worse. There is nothing quite like hearing someone describe their pain and seeing your own suffering reflected back. Knowing you aren’t alone, that many walk this path, can be such a relief. Though I’d never wish this on someone it helps to find like minded people. It helps to talk.

  2. I remember in my maths class, the prof used to say that whichever student has even a silly question to ask, they should go ahead and ask it. not only would that person be helping himself, he would also be helpimg many others who do not have the guts to ask that question.
    I think you are doing something similar, helpimg people who may not have the courage to talk aboht their depression openly, you are giving them hope that they are not alone.

    I agree, most people do not understand mental illness. in fact it is associated iwth mental strength and believed to be under a person’s control. although I cannot say how much of that is true, if talking about it helps you, you should do it more.

  3. It always help whenever you share your problems. There may be few negative comments but most of the time , they are helpful. It never worsens the problem. I like your courage and I am sure you will come out in a short time.

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