Well it has been about 5 weeks since I started writing this blog, I have said many things and one thing I wante to clear up is who do I really blame my depression on? Who do I spite when it comes to the blame for my current misfortunes. Was it the fault of one person or many of them colluding to throw me into the middle of this storm?
I don’t really think this question has a direct answer. Unfortunately. Like most things, this also has a curvy, merry-go-round type of answer.
I don’t exactly blame a person for my depression, this was not caused by anyone, nor does it have a straight forward group of people to be blamed for my problems. It was more of my mind to running out of control. The only person I can really blame for it is myself. I didn’t stop when I should have, I didn’t understand the concept of mental limits to a thought and when we should stop thinking about something rather than just ruminate over it trying to find a good reason as to why I suffered what I did. Now that I understand I don’t really grasp the concept totally yet but I am still trying to work towards it, hopefully I can regain control of the reigns of my mind and not let them run free again like the dog of hell that it has been for me so far.
Our mind is a devilous thing, if allowed to run free, it can destroy you as a whole from within, it can leave you a dysfunctional mess. When it comes to people, again, as I have said I wouldn’t say that this or that caused my depression, but I was put through many situations at once, which maybe I was unable to handle and which lead to my mind running amok and eventually my depression. Even when I was depressed when I did ask for help from people, their reactions didn’t really help, again I am not saying they were the cause, people just did not help when they could have, when my problem could have been cut off in its budding stage, which is again something that I cannot blame them for, they were mostly busy with other stuff, had different priorities and all in all just could not understand the gravity of the situation.
So to all the people out there, I will just say this, keep your minds under your control, don’t let it go, it will be disastrous for you and those around you. A mind is powerful, we know it works from the day it is formed in our mother’s womb to the day we die, A mind can make you look at stuff that is not true to be the reality, it can show you stuff that is a fairy tale to be true aswell. Our minds are always quick, keep them intact and you will face little problem in your life.
“We are shaped by our thoughts and our mind, we become what we think.”