Hey everyone, I have been trying very hard to update my blog daily this month and I am afraid I won’t be able to continue with that for the day. A lot of things have been happening parallely and I find myself struggling with my thoughts once again. I will try my best to regain control and calmness as soon as possible with as little damage as possible
I have a tendency of going on a self-destruct rampage when I start struggling a lot. I don’t know whether it is my mind pushing me to do these things or is it just who I am. The flashbacks I used to have have been more severe in the last few days and my thoughts seem to be falling for my Borderline Personality traits once again. It is hard for me to accept that I need help whem things get this bad but I am writing this by going against every single instinct in my body which is telling me not to write anything.
There is no real purpose of writing this but I just think that maybe sharing it might help once again like it did last time. I wasn’t very optimistic then; Even after all the support I got I don’t feel optimistic now either but this might be what is considered a call for help because this time it is more severe than it was in the past 6 months. Probably the worst things have gotten since then. I won’t share this on a lot of social media, probably because I’m embarrassed to be asking for help even though it has been so long since I started recovering but it is something that might end up helping me. I will try and pin-point what led to this downward trend and until then I will just need some verbal support or something. I don’t really know what I need either so that doesn’t help a lot but anyway this is just meant as a means to share my current struggle with the world and nothing more.
Thank you for reading.