Hey everyone. It has been about 6 months since the fateful day when I decide to make a public post on my facebook page about my struggles with major depressive disorder and how I needed any help I could get which you can go through here. I have come a long way since then, so I thought to do a quick recap of all the significant things that happened in my life since 14th February 2017.
After all the support and love I got on facebook, I was given an idea to start writing a blog about what I think about, what my thoughts are and what my perception of various things is. So on 26th February, I started this blog (My Struggles with Depression). I used to write daily. I learned that I had so much stuff in my head that I needed some place to let all these ideas out or they would keep ruminating in my mind. The blog helped a lot. I got a bit of my self-confidence back, seemed a little tense than the past days and the positive feedback I received helped me look at things positively as well. Soon after that, I realized that I needed to interact with some more people in order to keep myself busy and not let my thoughts get away from me so I started counseling some students about how to prepare for NEET-UG and basically how to get through the rigorous studies of class 11th and 12th in Science stream. This kept me busy for most part of the day as I spent most of my time advising students and helping them get a better understanding of the deeper concepts of the subject.
A short while later near April, thanks to a kind friend, I got in touch with NDTV who were actually doing a documentary on depression in teenagers at the time. I appeared for a short interview with them which you can check out here.I also got a pair of pugs, Kal (named after Kal-El, a symbol of hope) and Coco (just because it’s cute).. I was sort of scared about having to take the responsibility of two young pugs, but I also knew that it might help me deal with my emotions better and well let’s be honest, Pugs are cute. The support from people I know never seemed to die down. The time was fast coming when I had to decide what I wish to pursue for my future studies. Whether I wanted to have another go at MBBS or try something new. This decision was hard for me to make. It gave me a lot of anxiety to just think about my future. I knew the time was coming when I had to make a choice. I couldn’t have let this choice slip out of my hands. This was probably the toughest time in the past 6 months. After a lot of procrastination, delays, anxiety, serious thought etc, I decided to pursue Applied Psychology from Delhi University. I knew it was not going to be the same as studying MBBS but I made peace with the fact that I needed to go easy on myself before I start thinking about the expectations that are held for me.
So here we are, 6 months later and I can say that I am in a much better position than I used to be. I have reconnected with a some of my old friends. I am still on some meds but I believe that I am in a position where I can taper them off slowly. It has been a long time since I cut myself, or even thought about doing it. I am in much better control of my thoughts and emotions and the classmates in my new college seem to have accepted me as one of their own. I won’t say that I have overcome my problems or am totally healed now but I will just like to say that I am in a much better shape now. I don’t need pills to sleep every night, my blog is in a decent place (although I would like to take it up to another level) and all in all a lot has changed in less than 200 days (171 days, 1 hour and 3 minutes to be precise). So going thorugh all of my blog, right from the very beginning, some might find it inspiring, some may find it boring but whatever you think of my story, I can at least say that I am at peace with it.
PS: The 3rd Chapter of my Extraordinary Universe arrives this Sunday. Stay tuned!
PPS: Neymar!! 😱😱