My Struggles with Depression

Published by knightofsteel on

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For the past 18 months, I have been fighting an uphill battle against major severe depression. It has been a numbing experience but more than that it has become my state of life. I have felt alone and isolated, hopeless and guilty and sinking in a pit of negativity and darkness. 

 I have been on various medications and undergone ECT which has cost me a lot of my memory and left me incapable of making new long term memories atleast temporarily.
The few friends I shared my troubles with told me to ‘get over it’ or ‘snap out of it’ and if that’s something my friends wish to tell me now, I must say I would appreciate your silence more than your unhelpful words. 
With time I will share more of my problems and struggles with everyone who visits the site and would welcome it if anyone who has felt like this and has been in my shoes wishes to talk to me about it.

So drop a comment, what you think and how I can improve and I will surely try my best.

Categories: personal

14 Comments

IS · February 26, 2017 at 11:58 AM

Reblogged this on Litrite.

Alice · February 26, 2017 at 3:36 PM

You’re one of the smartest people I know, it’s always great talking to you. It’s a great decision to share your problems, I’m sure it’s going to help you 🙂

Very well written.

Good luck!

tarinimehtani · March 1, 2017 at 3:04 PM

You’re incredibly strong and courageous for not only seeking help but also speaking out about it.
Depression is a nightmare but it does get better. Hope and resilience can beat anything and everything.
I really do hope you rise out of this darkness and see the light which truly does exist.

All the best!

    knightofsteel · March 2, 2017 at 1:38 AM

    Thank you for your kind words
    Hope is what I lack at the moment but I wish it comes back soon enough

      N. D. Gupta · March 2, 2017 at 10:13 AM

      You are super intelligent guy.This is being reflected in your writing.I am sure ,you will come out of this situation with flying colours.

      Kayleigh · April 18, 2017 at 9:06 PM

      Although I’m decades beyond being a new mom, I just had to comment on this great idea. I think that would be such a wonderful way to share your baby’s every milestone: the first smile, first step, etc. And it would be a convenient and easy way for relatives and friends to keep up. If I’m ever lucky enough to be a grandma, I’m suggesting this idea to my da!Egteruhileen Williams´s last blog post..

AMISHA BISWAL · March 3, 2017 at 12:03 PM

As far as I remember u …u r an amazing guy..who guided us throughout his year of being prefect. And let me tell, u were the one of the best I had known in my past 14 years in opjms. You can easily get out of this. I have seen how optimistic and cheerful guy you are. You are strong enough to face this situation…and you are never alone. I am very sure you will back to the cheerful you very soon. Take Care

All The Best…. 🙂

Personal Quote · May 12, 2017 at 1:32 AM

I am suffering from severe depression too .. and I had 12 sessions of ECT and I regret it because it didn’t help me but cost me my memory as it did to you and also my concentration ..
I am looking forward to read your posts ..
And I am also going to post about my experience if you would like to read and follow .. 🙂

Keerthi Vydyula · September 10, 2017 at 10:54 AM

I have been there myself and got out of it. I can relate to you…the great step you took was to start talking about it. It may not show drastic difference in a short span but as time passes all these interactions help, trust me! I Hope you are out of that phase and enjoying every moment of your life…

    knightofsteel · September 10, 2017 at 10:55 AM

    I am.much better now than I was 6 months back. I wouldn’t say I’m normal and enjoying everything but atleast I don’t hurt myself now or have suicidal thoughts so that is a big step for me.

      Keerthi Vydyula · September 10, 2017 at 10:57 AM

      yeah that’s very positive, you have a long way to go but there is a start for everything! Kudos to you for giving life a chance 🙂

      knightofsteel · September 10, 2017 at 10:57 AM

      Thank you! I’m just trying my best. The support I have got has been amazing.

      Keerthi Vydyula · September 10, 2017 at 10:58 AM

      Yeah all you need to do is “not to stop trying” 🙂

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