Labels, Answers and A Battle.
The General prepares his troops for battle. They know they have a war coming their way but they don’t know who or what, but it’s coming, and they have to be ready for it.
The General struggles to prepare his men, it is hard to fight or prepare for an enemy you don’t know, it is big, it is dark but it is unknown. No one knows the tactics the enemy will use, or how many men they have. In a field where knowledge of the enemy is the ultimate weapon, the General must walk into battle with a blind eye.
The day of the battle is here, his men line up in their battle formations against an enemy which can’t be seen. The fear can be smelled for miles away. The soldiers are apprehensive, they had never flight an enemy without knowing something about it. Suddenly they hear cry and a soldier goes down in he far east corner of the formation, then another and one goes down in the West. Soldiers start dropping one by one, they can’t see by who or from what, they have been attacked from two sides at once, the enemy can’t be seen and soon enough only the General remains standing in the battlefield. The stench of death surrounds him. His men now piles on floors of lifeless bodies. He knew he was going to be one among them soon enough. He knew he had made big mistake. He had walked into a battle without knowing the enemy first. He had made a mistake which cost the lives of thousands of young men and now he was going to pay the ultimate price for it.
The general fell to the ground. His neck cut off and blood streaming from his neck to mix with all the blood of his fallen comrades. The battle was over before it began. It was a slaughter and the invisible enemy won.
I have been fighting a battle for 18 months, I don’t know what I have been fighting. The enemy had no name, it doesn’t have a shape or structure. It can’t be identified by the general public. To identify this I need someone bigger, someone who has studied about my enemy and seen it from close quarters for years or I will meet the same fate as the General, I must not make the same mistakes he did, or I will too have to pay the ultimate price.
Right when it seems I will lose this battle as well, a knight walks into my palace, he claims he has fought the same enemy I have, many times before and that it can be defeated but that is only if I know what this enemy is called and what causes it to pick a fight with us, who pose no threat to it.
Now I know, it is important to identify an enemy before I pick a fight with it. To know it’s strength and weaknesses, it’s history and it’s record.
This is what I try to do when I fight my Major depressive disorder and Borderline Personality Traits. I cannot fight them without knowing about them, I must be aware about them, I must know what threats they possess. The labels matter. If I am going to lead successful charge against them, the labels matter. I must fight, but I must also know what I am fighting against.
I will need allies for my battle and I must be able to tell them what we all will be up against. That is the only way I win.
And this is a battle, I cannot afford to lose at any costs.