I Am Not Perfect.

Published by knightofsteel on

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I am not perfect.

I don’t even come close to it. There are so many flaws I see in myself that I forget to see my strengths. I have a lot going in my professional and personal life to handle it all alone right now. It felt like I needed an outlet in order to feel better.

I feel that there is a perception that there isn’t a lot wrong in my life and everything is going smooth but that is not so. It hasn’t been as it was at one point but it isn’t all roses either. It is important that I show my vulnerabilities and lows as well in order to be truly open about my life. After all, we only see our glamorized lives on social media.

So, I have had a lot going on since the past month. I haven’t been able to manage my time properly, or so I was told. It felt like I was always running out of time or that I didn’t have enough of it. It always felt like a race against time. It didn’t feel very nice. At first, I liked it. I liked how busy I was and how I was always occupied with one thing or the other. Then, I got tired. I still didn’t have time for so many things but I was getting tired.

I started writing my second book at the same time. This one is going to be twice the size of the previous one and much more informative. So now I had a book and a YouTube channel to create content on. I also had to keep up with college and give everyone close to me enough time. It never seemed to happen.

My self-esteem and confidence suffered. I felt like I had to do more work and be better than I was. It also marked the time when I started getting obsessed with my numbers. The number of views on my videos, my blogs, the number of my books sold and my marks. It always felt like everything was going down and nothing was where it should have been.

Right now, I find myself with a mountain load of work from college that needs to be submitted. I have work with the My Friend Alexa campaign I am participating in and also catch up on all the classes I missed. This is compounded by the hard break-up I am going through and my lack of physical activity. I feel anxious and guilty very often but not necessarily very intense.

I won’t say it is very bad or something I cannot control but I felt it was important I shared this with everyone. My life isn’t perfect and neither am I and that’s okay.

It just shows that I am just like you, a human.


18 Comments

Sunita · September 8, 2018 at 7:14 AM

Don’t overburden yourself to prove something. Life is to be enjoyed and be happy .

momtasticworld · September 8, 2018 at 11:25 AM

Let me start by saying, you are doing wonderful. Lucky are the people who get to be bus with the work they love doing. I can so relate with your situation 🙂

    knightofsteel · September 9, 2018 at 7:08 AM

    Thank you 🙂 are you going through something similar as well?

JayanthyGovindarajan (@JayanthyG) · September 8, 2018 at 3:09 PM

No one is perfect and that is perfectly okay! I only wish to say to you that we will all make it good one day! That day will come, just live with hope, faith and courage! It is difficult sometimes, but it is worth it!

    knightofsteel · September 9, 2018 at 7:06 AM

    Words to live by. Thank you so much for visiting and taking the time out for this 🙂

sonamchamaria · September 8, 2018 at 3:58 PM

Heartfelt. Don’t be hard on yourself. When the time is right, it will all work out – you will find the time when it’s meant to be 🙂

    knightofsteel · September 9, 2018 at 7:09 AM

    Thank you so much. I’m trying to be easy on myself but it’s easier said than done to be honest.

      sonamchamaria · September 9, 2018 at 11:26 AM

      Yes, it sure is

Anupriya · September 8, 2018 at 4:30 PM

Hey young man! You seem to be going very tough on yourself. It’s ok to be on a downside, specially after a break up. But remember that if you take care of your heart, love will find it’s it’ to you. Till then take care of your work front. But first and foremost take care of your self

    knightofsteel · September 9, 2018 at 7:08 AM

    Thank you for the kind words Anupriya. It is a setback but I will have to work to healing this.

Bikramjit · September 9, 2018 at 5:10 AM

No one is perfect, life is not extreme, love, joy, courage, learing more..

    knightofsteel · September 9, 2018 at 6:59 AM

    Indeed. I need to be a bit soft on myself too

savorytales · September 9, 2018 at 5:56 AM

Don’t be hard on yourself. More power to you!

    knightofsteel · September 9, 2018 at 7:05 AM

    I’m trying to do that. Thank you for the kind words 🙂

mylittleduniyaSupriya · September 9, 2018 at 11:29 PM

Yes.. So true… no one is flawless, no one is perfect.

vidhya29 · September 10, 2018 at 1:43 AM

Indeed a wonderful article! power to you!! #Viddhreads #Myfriendalexa

    knightofsteel · September 10, 2018 at 2:32 AM

    Thank you 😊

mummyingainteasy · September 10, 2018 at 10:48 PM

True…everyone has to set their own priorities right to be on right track,helps us to focus and plan things better. I am also in sailing in same boat

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