Does it ever happen to you that if you tell the same story over and over, it starts losing its meaning? The same words, the same incidents and the same narrator. It might get a bit monotonous once you have said the same story thrice. Stories that go along generations are different. They have different narrators, different interpretations and different lessons learnt.
Something similar happened to me a few days back. I met some new people and an old acquaintance and I found myself in a very awkward position. I didn’t want to bore the person or indulge too much information. I didn’t want to say something they might consider irrelevant. I was asked what I am doing with my life and what I have been doing and I was as responsive as a rock. I just came up with the usual graduation stuff but I felt very uncomfortable in that moment to share what had actually been happening.
I AM UNCOMFORTABLE WITH MY OWN EXPERIENCES!
I find myself in this familiar but unfriendly feeling again. I feel ashamed of telling everyone about myself. I feel like it is better to nod and agree. It all seems starkly different than who I was a year back when I first shared my story. It seems more familiar to my time with anxiety when I hardly talked to anyone, for the fear of scaring them away. Even if it is someone I know very well, I just cannot get my head around telling them everything.
I also feel that I am trying to be a victim trying to gain sympathy. I don’t intend for it to be that way but I would understand why someone would see it like that. I also don’t know a short way to tell my story. I think it is too complex to be concluded in a few words. This makes me feel like the whole long story wouldn’t be worth the listener’s time. If I try to shorten down my story, it seems over-simplified. If I tell it how it was, it is way too long for anyone.
So, being the fan of crowd-sourcing solutions that I am; I would like to hear from you, what you would do if you were in my place. If you had a 2 year long painful tale to tell, how would you tell it?
I will be really grateful for any help I can get.
Thanking you in advance.