Anxiety Returns

Published by knightofsteel on

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Does it ever happen to you that if you tell the same story over and over, it starts losing its meaning? The same words, the same incidents and the same narrator. It might get a bit monotonous once you have said the same story thrice. Stories that go along generations are different. They have different narrators, different interpretations and different lessons learnt.

Something similar happened to me a few days back. I met some new people and an old acquaintance and I found myself in a very awkward position. I didn’t want to bore the person or indulge too much information. I didn’t want to say something they might consider irrelevant. I was asked what I am doing with my life and what I have been doing and I was as responsive as a rock. I just came up with the usual graduation stuff but I felt very uncomfortable in that moment to share what had actually been happening.

I AM UNCOMFORTABLE WITH MY OWN EXPERIENCES!

I find myself in this familiar but unfriendly feeling again. I feel ashamed of telling everyone about myself. I feel like it is better to nod and agree. It all seems starkly different than who I was a year back when I first shared my story. It seems more familiar to my time with anxiety when I hardly talked to anyone, for the fear of scaring them away. Even if it is someone I know very well, I just cannot get my head around telling them everything.

I also feel that I am trying to be a victim trying to gain sympathy. I don’t intend for it to be that way but I would understand why someone would see it like that. I also don’t know a short way to tell my story. I think it is too complex to be concluded in a few words. This makes me feel like the whole long story wouldn’t be worth the listener’s time. If I try to shorten down my story, it seems over-simplified. If I tell it how it was, it is way too long for anyone.

So, being the fan of crowd-sourcing solutions that I am; I would like to hear from you, what you would do if you were in my place. If you had a 2 year long painful tale to tell, how would you tell it?

I will be really grateful for any help I can get.

Thanking you in advance.


18 Comments

syncwithdeep · May 8, 2018 at 10:59 AM

Let me share u my experience.. When i struggled pain , i did really want to share.. When i told, repeated, i was told that i am trying to get attention. That words further worsened me and i decided to keep it to myself. I am my own friend. Other than me, there is no good person to hear my rants or musings..

    knightofsteel · May 9, 2018 at 12:48 AM

    I am so sorry you had to go through that Deepa. It must have been really tough to do so without any support.

jim- · May 8, 2018 at 11:03 AM

Compile something like a saga, short chapters keep that interest and can provide meaning and insight. I’d break my story down to segments, even write them down. Not only is it therapeutic but it gives you a quiver full of short, but poignant lessons to share. Then if someone has time for more, you have something interesting to keep the discussion on alive and on point.

    knightofsteel · May 9, 2018 at 12:47 AM

    That might make me a more interesting man as well! Thanks for the advice mate.

      jim- · May 9, 2018 at 12:51 AM

      I have a private blog as well that I am doing just that. It’s not about mental health, but it’s a mixture of original stuff I have to compile a segment of my life story in a book. If your interested I can let you look.

      knightofsteel · May 9, 2018 at 12:56 AM

      Sure! I’d love to have a look.

      jim- · May 9, 2018 at 12:57 AM

      This is a true story. Hope you enjoy the format. Try to like it and I’ll get an email request. . https://thecowhandsage.wordpress.com/

      jim- · May 9, 2018 at 1:06 AM

      Try it again. The WP email link had a flaw. Then it went blank. Weird.

      knightofsteel · May 9, 2018 at 1:09 AM

      WordPress issues I guess.

      jim- · May 9, 2018 at 1:11 AM

      Seems to have worked

      jim- · May 9, 2018 at 1:12 AM

      It’s late here. Enjoy the day.

      knightofsteel · May 9, 2018 at 1:13 AM

      I will, and hope you have a great next day.

N.D.Gupta · May 8, 2018 at 1:14 PM

You have not committed any sin. Destiny had something else for you. Don’t have negative feelings. You can very well tell that it must be for something good in future. Only time will that it actually happened for something good. Nothing bad in it. With the time reputation of medical profession is going down very rapidly.Life of medical professionals is getting bad to worse. So whenever such thing happens , it always happens for something good Always remain positive. Many such examples already exists where life takes U turn. I feel that you should rather tell yourself that you have been spared of agony which you might suffer in medical profession. I definitely feel that it has happened for better future. Just maintain your confidence. You have so much talent which will come out with the time. So be positive and come out of your shell.

Prashanth Prasannakumar · May 8, 2018 at 1:33 PM

The simplest thing to do in such a situation is to subtly ask if they’re genuinely interested. You can start by telling them that it’s a long story and that it will take quite a lot of time to tell everything. See how they respond and continue accordingly. If they’d rather talk about something else, then do that. However, if they are willing to listen to you, then give them all the details. Make your experiences relatable by asking about their hardships. Try to focus on the positive things that have come out of your ordeal. Don’t worry too much about what you’re saying: just be cool and confident with yourself.

    knightofsteel · May 9, 2018 at 12:45 AM

    That sounds like really good advice. I will try this out when I find myself in the same situation again.

company · May 10, 2018 at 12:23 AM

God has certain plan for every human being which we are not aware of.just go with the flow and you will find your position.some things are bound to happen for no fault of yours ,so live in the present and enjoy.

Pradeep Swami. · May 10, 2018 at 11:55 PM

हे अर्जुन !
यदि वो गलती थी तो
मान लो
उसकी सजा आपको मिल चुकी
यदि वो भूल थी तो
मान लो
खुदा आपको माफ कर चुके
यदि वो निर्णय था
तो उसे Prove करो।
Beleive in urself…
लोगों को सफाई देने की जरूरत नहीं है
As a teacher i know…बुत दम है तेरे में…
Do ur best…public just follow airflow…
u have to generate ur own mark…
go ahead…!
god bless u.

company · May 15, 2018 at 2:51 AM

you are not a follower, you are a pathfinder,so go get your share in this world with full enthusiasm.

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