An Unsavoury Dichotomy.

Published by knightofsteel on

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I am often amused by the mixture of thoughts and opinions that my mind is. Just a few days back I was excited about the fact I was about to get an eBook published soon. A few days later I was determined as I talked about working towards what you want rather than waiting for it. This was then surprisingly and almost ironically, melancholic for a couple of days. My mind is funny when it comes to this. It likes to play games with me. It changes as quickly as the London weather and any attempt to predict its near future would be a folly.

In the period between last week of April and second week of May, I went from feeling pride to doubt to uselessness and then some pride again. Of course, there were events which might have led to these thought processes but should a person really be this unstable with his moods? How often is it ok to have a change of mood? When is it okay to have a change of mood? I would love to hear from you on this.

I sometimes feel guilty about not socialising more and feeling guilt makes me think that I should do something instead of simply feeling guilty. I struggle to find the time due to my exams and that reinforces it all. I also think that simply writing isn’t going to help a lot. I should hold seminars and talks as well to have an impact on the grassroots level. A lot of ideas run through my head and it sometimes fills my mind up with unsavoury thoughts.

My mind has a lot of contradictions. It seems that it is always trying to falsify itself. It’s not very nice but it’s not reducing a lot either. I would love to hear from you on this. I welcome suggestions, thoughts and everything you can think of.

It might help someone in need.


5 Comments

syncwithdeep · May 19, 2018 at 3:38 AM

Take a break immediately when u undergo this. Believe me.. It helps. In a week, i feel low from wednesday to friday. I have been observing this cycle since april.. Then again on friday i become ok. When i feel low i feel useless.. But i never had the pride feel so far. Becos i dont like myself compared to.. I strictly hate getting compared..

    knightofsteel · May 19, 2018 at 10:43 PM

    That sounds like a good idea. I think the pride thing comes from when I compare my present self with the past self. I like to compare myself with the past self to see how much progress I have made. Thanks for visiting Deepa

    PS. My mom told me she read your posts and she absolutely loved every single one of them ☺️

      syncwithdeep · May 19, 2018 at 11:45 PM

      That’s so nice of aunty ji arjun.. My heartfelt thanks to her.

Natasha · May 19, 2018 at 6:03 PM

Hi Arjun, we are humans and it’s natural for us to lean towards cycles of low and high. I was feeling sometimes low, a lot crabby post the AtoZ for over a week, as I also was unwell, for two weeks. But it’s ok to experience both the highs and lows simultaneously and not question them too much, but as humans we are always wired to question ourselves when we are low. Funny no? How come we don’t question ourselves when we are happy…

Since you have so many ideas coursing through your mind I have a fantastic book suggestion for you, that I’m currently reading, Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic. I promise you will love it.

Take care and have a great Sunday!

    knightofsteel · May 19, 2018 at 10:48 PM

    Hey Natasha, that sounds good to me. I sometimes get worried that I’m being very volatile in my thoughts. If it is normal, I guess it isn’t that big of an issue. I’ll surely check out the book too. ☺️

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