In February, 2017, I decided to go public about my two year long struggle with clinical depression. I shared a facebook post on my timeline to tell the whole world about all the problems I had had. It was a scary step for me but as I have I have insisted over and over again, I was in a very desperate situation wherein I needed to do something big in order to get some help. Sharing my problems with everyone was more of a last measure for me.
Major depressive disorder is a pretty self-explanatory word when you think about it. It is also known as clinical depression and is something that is becoming increasingly prevalent in the modern world. We have read the statistics about the spread of depression over and over and the thing that we don’t really understand yet is that it doesn’t really “spread”. It is something which sprouts out from our own mind. It is not a communicable disease like most of the physical illnesses and that is an important aspect of understanding mental illness as a whole. Most of the times we look for a cause as to why a person gets depressed but there doesn’t always need to be a cause. As with me, sometimes it is just your genetic make up to be susceptible to depression and you could fall in this pit at any point in your life and not necessarily with a prompt.
Mental illness is something difficult to understand for many people. We sometimes start fearing things we don’t understand and that leads to people who have genuine problems being ignored by the people around them. Then we come to the people who use “depression” loosely which makes the word lose its meaning and the genuine sufferers are again the ones who are on the losing side. An important point I wish to make here is that because someone claims to have depression then we need to pay some attention to them. We need to take special care about our words and not try and undermine their problems.
Once you realize you are in the clutches of this disease, the next step is to seek remediation for it. Of course, the real first step would be to accept that you have a disease; something which took me a long time. Treatments include therapy, medicine and in extreme cases Electro-Convulsive Therapy. Something I had gone under but unfortunately, did not have any great positive effect on me. Nothing seemed to work for me and that made me utterly hopeless about my situation. I couldn’t control my thoughts irrespective of whether they were of self-harm or suicide.
When I shared my post, I was scared, but I also knew that I had no other way left now. The support I got from my surrounding people was amazing and immense in its own sense. I can never thank them enough for the love they showered on me and helped me get on a road to recovery. I have also always thanked Zack Snyder for the amazing characters he presented to me in Batman vs Superman and Man of Steel. They may not be the most popular movies, but for me they were something to live by. Henry Cavill’s Superman has been an inspirational figure for me and that is what I wish to be for people around the world suffering from the same problems as me as well.
Today, I have friends, I talk, I laugh, I crack jokes, although most of them are bad but I still crack them without thinking much. I am slowly getting back into being a functioning part of the society with each passing day. I remember when 6 months ago I couldn’t wear anything but pajamas, irrespective of where I was going but for the past week, I have been wearing jeans. These are small things, small changes but that is what we need to create a big result. I write this blog as well, have a couple of pugs and in short am in a much better shape. Now I wish to inspire people, make them see the best parts of themselves. I wish to help people looking for it and increasing awareness about mental health.