I am closing in on the first anniversary of a day I am going to remember forever. 14th of February means a lot of different things for different people, most commonly it is celebrated as Valentine’s day and a day for love and romance. I am going to remember it as the day I shared that post on facebook. In the time since then and in the time prior to that there are many things I have failed at. There are just so many of those things but still they can be taken under an umbrella failure of mine to control my thoughts. It was brutal. My mind would race so quickly from one thought to the other that I would struggle to keep pace with myself. It was one of the basic reasons of my depression, my acts of self harm and my suicidal tendencies.
I have already talked in detail in my other posts about how that period has changed me. It has helped me know myself better, be more empathetic, more open to new ideas and more risky in how I carry myself and look for new opportunities. I try and reach out more now in order to spread my message and squeeze as much time as I can in order to put out new information about depression and mental health.
Today I understand that I won’t always stay the person I am now; that I will keep meeting new people and experience as well learn new things all the time. I will have to take that in my stride and be open to change rather than closing in and reminiscing about the past. My previous setting was to stay pessimistic about the future and garb it under the name of realism but now I do understand that just because something is bad now, doesn’t mean it will be bad forever. Forever is a long time and anything can change in that time, no matter how good or bad it is.
My thoughts took me to a bad place and I dragged them back to a good one. Now I want to help others get here too and I want others to find a path where I found none and that is why I write.
Written as a part of #ChatterPrompts