Reaching out for help is always a tough job for anyone suffering from mental health issues like depression or anxiety. We know that 10% of a population is likely to be depressed and I have talked in the past about how the rest of the 90% can help us. Today I wished to write and help suggest some ways in which people can reach out for help for their emotional problems.
This is a suggested order by which you can approach people for help. There are many people for whom friends or God are more trustable than family and those that trust doctors more than anyone. The important part though is that you will have to first accept to yourself that you are suffering from a mental illness and that you don’t, in any way, deserve it.
The thing about reaching out is that you will have to go in hoping for the best and expecting the worst. In order to make it more likely that you get the help you need, you will have to be courteous and polite while asking someone for help. I know it is easier said than done and I know it is likely that every single instinct in your body would be telling you to push this person away but you will have to fight that and reach out.
The important point of such a sensitive conversation is that you will have to balance closely between the fact that you trust them and the apprehension within the listener that you might expect them to solve everything which could make them feel burdened and scare them away. It is also important that the person be listening to you by their own will and not because you blackmailed them into it. A depressed mind works in cruel ways and it might make you pressurize a person into helping you which is not a very sustainable solution. It is important that the chat is a two-way process and they keep telling you what they think about what you are telling them as well. You need to hold their attention and let them participate.
A depressed mind is often filled with rage that harbours within against a particular person, a group or society in general. It is hence important that when you do find someone willing to listen, you don’t end up channeling all the anger within yourself on the listener. It is a very common mistake and one that I made as well back when I was struggling to find someone who could help.
As much as I hate to say it, it is not necessary that once someone does listen to you that they are compassionate and helpful and end up helping you. It is a lesson I learnt the hard way and which made me realize how important it is to not expect anything immediate when it comes to solutions. It is nice if someone does listen to you but if they don’t end up proving helpful, you cannot give up at that point. You should actually be treating that as the point which helps you acknowledge your problems better and then move on to the search for the next person who might be willing to help.
Of course, this might make you question why you should even try and reach out and seek help when there is no surety that it will end up helping you. For that I say,
It is true that after years of hard work done by so many people around the globe, the public perception of depression is changing. We have atleast started to acknowledge it as a real public threat and that is the first step on the path to changing the world’s view on depression.
The feeling I had on the day I shared my facebook post, when I saw all the love and advice flowing in, that was the day I felt that getting better would be worth it, that when the mind is set on hating itself unstopped, it is wise to seek love from the world.