The beginning of teenage, when the voice starts cracking, limbs start lengthening and hair start growing in weird places. For most of the people I know, this is the time when their stories turn away from those of academic achievement to those of personal experiences and troubles alike.
I used to be so afraid of getting distracted from my studies in these years that I hardly ever did all the things that most people do. I didn’t get involved in many fights, didn’t have a huge group of friends and never really went out to hang out with friends. It was actually a very bland and plain time in my life if you compare it with others. There are things I have done that I regret from this time though. I have even bullied a person but have since apologized profusely to them. It wasn’t the best decision I made, to bully someone continuously and with everything I could think of and it is something, as I have said, I regret. I made her an outcast from our class and hardly let her have any friends within. Blind hate had driven me to the point of irrational disgust of a person who hadn’t even done anything wrong to me when I think of it.
For many people this is a time when they push their boundaries and discover themselves but for me it was when my, in hindsight, insanely high moral standard and principles emerged. It even earned me the title of ‘Modern Gandhi’ for my school farewell. It was a time which, now that I think of it, actually helps me remember the kind of guy that I don’t want to be in the future. I used to have a very binary view of life. Everyone who agreed with me was good and everyone who didn’t was the spawn of the devil in my eyes. I wouldn’t have been able to face the real world if I was still that person, I wouldn’t have been able to talk to girls because I would have seen it as some instilled form of embarrassment.
I am not the person today that I was at that time. This age from 13 to 17 was when I learned a lot of stuff but not a lot about myself. It made me a bit cynical and ultimately had an effect on how I maintained friendships and how I dealt with my emotions and problems which had a domino effect on my fall into depression and everything that has happened since.
It wasn’t a usual teenage, it was the age of morality and principles and learning lessons.