*This is a piece of satire and not meant to be taken seriously*

WHY WOMEN DON’T NEED POCKETS

By: Prof. Pupin Mapants 

Hello and welcome to another one of my popular publications. Today I am going to talk about why women don’t need pockets in their clothes. This is a publication of Mr. Pupin Mapants backed steel cold, ice hard facts.

Women these days are always complaining about everything. Sometimes they want equal rights, sometimes they want respect from society and now they want pockets in their clothes. Ridiculous I know, next they will want to not be treated like sex objects and will demand freedom from the cultural repression that they face. These women, I say, trying to be all independent and shit. They need men; they should accept that and make us a sandwich.

In the old times women were not given pockets because what could it be that they possibly needed to carry, unless it was an express sandwich maker that they carried in their pockets on which I am calling unhygienic. Who knows what is close to a women’s pockets. They might make the bread and veggies impure and infect us superior and pure men with their blood. Pockets in women’s clothes should be just like their perception in society, there just for the display and not actually useful for anything. If a woman needs to carry a phone, she can do it in one of those branded purses that all of them carry. It might seem inconvenient but isn’t everything in life inconvenient? I mean there are men who have to carry heavy wallets in their pockets and put their hips in danger of dislocation but rather than respecting those great men for their sacrifice and valor, these women want to actually be like us.

Laughable at best.

An adult woman doesn’t need a phone. She can use the phone of her brother or father or husband. A woman doesn’t need money; she can take it from the man in the family. A woman doesn’t need keys, because an ideal woman never leaves her home and serves the home as her temple even though she may sometimes see it as a jail. A woman doesn’t have to vote, men are more educated and wiser; they can take decisions for others. A woman doesn’t need freedom, only the infidels and independent people want freedom, are we prepared to let these women run free? We may be in the 21st century but we must remember we have gotten here only by oppressing, exploiting and raping women in the past, we cannot let go of those traditions just because some people now want what they call ‘equality’.

Now women have come up with feminism. The fools want pockets in their clothes, of all the things they could want, they want pockets. Let us totally ignore that if the demand is so spurious, we shouldn’t have any problem fulfilling it but we should rather be mocking women for demanding pockets. If women are given pockets, the day is not far away when they will ask for total equality.

Gather around o’ men of the world. Pledge today to stop these feminazis and not bow down to them even though some of their points may seem very valid and fair but we must oppose them because status quo is what is more important.

Make Pockets Male Again!

Pocket before you mock it!

Pockets are for men!