I am a 80 year old man, I have a wife and two children. I lay on my bed in the early morning, deprived of sleep since last night, it has been a long time since I slept with ease. I never know when I would go to sleep for the last time. Life has become so uncertain for me now. I maybe losing my senses with time. Time has been so cruel to me, I have made many choices over my life but now I must make a choice which may well be my last one. My final choice.
Studies say that if you close a pigeon in an enclosure and feed it every time it rings a bell kept next to it, it quickly correlates the ringing of bell to the feed coming through. At the same time, if you put a timer which feeds the pigeon at regular intervals irrelevant of whether it rings the bell or not, it starts wondering what the trigger to this feed release is. If it was flapping it’s wings at the time he first feed came, it will keep flapping it’s wings. This is called ‘ pigeon superstition’ . The pigeon is made to wonder. “What have I done to deserve this?”
“What have I done to deserve this?”
” Is there a higher power taking care of me?”
” Is this what god wants?”
I look around my old, rotten room. Time has taken it’s toll on it. Time takes it’s toll on everyone eventually. It is a funny thing, time.
If string theory is correct, before the big bang, there were 9 dimensions and 1 temporal dimension, later the universe exploded into 3 spatial dimensions and 1 temporal one. What if the universe exploded into multiple spatial dimensions, would we perceive time differently than we do now?
Would time have a length and a breadth as well?
Would it be beautiful or disastrous? How can we know these answers. This goes without asking where did the other 6 dimensions go? Are they amalgamated within themselves?
If that is the case how do we know illusion from reality?
I had always been a science enthusiast, in 80 years I have seem to have read much more than I needed to. Now these questions plague my mind and I lie here without any answers. I don’t even know if the answers exist.
Time only ever flows in one direction, that I why it is so important to make the right choice everytime I face one. I can never go back, I can never know what the right choice is but I cannot know what would happen if I chose either of the two.
Now I must choose. I have been a burden for my children for quite a while now. My health bills have been towering and I have not been of any help in this matter. Now it’s up to me. Do I want more or is this enough?
This is the last choice I will probably ever get to make, but at this moment, even with the history and wisdom of 80 years of my life, I don’t know what to do.
I find a coin lying next to me on the table, I am not capable enough to make this decision on my own so I will leave it to chance. Atleast I know the coin won’t hold a bias against me, it wouldn’t judge me or be immoral.
Chance. The only thing that is fair in this universe. Apart from being random as well.
I pick the coin up. I am scared to toss it, afraid of what the consequences would be. I place it on my hand, ready to be tossed as it becomes a tool of my destiny.
It spins in the air
Making a whistling sound as it rotates about its axis.
Gravity brings it back,
it bounces off the table and takes a few more spins
Slowly friction does it’s work and the coin slows down.
It rolls one last time.
And as I hold my breath, awaiting what the randomness and fairness of the universe has chosen for me,