The Dog Blog. Part 3
I am back.
Kal has returned.
I see my fellow counterpart has already done the best he can to spoil my image in your eyes. His non-stop complaining, constant crying and never ending tirades about how the world is a bigger place than just our home and the few places we go to. What an idiot! How could the world possinly be any bigger, our humans have taken us to all the important places and there is nothing else to see in this world. That is what our ancient doggos have decreed in their holy bhowks.
I am not going to stop one by one at all the lies that loser Coco spread about me but I am going to display to you, the talent of my kind.
Yes! It is true my fellow pugs,
There are more pugs like us and they can be seen on this thing my main human uses called the internet, even though it looks more like a claw, so “interclaw” as I, or any other sane pug would say.
I have seen the talents of all the fellow pugs from other worlds, combining their talents and hard work to create the pug master race that is one day, through their might and intellectual superiority, going to take over the WORLD!!! I am going to introduce you to some of my fellow puddies (pug +buddies)
Meet one from Ireland. A world totally different from ours, with different land, different humans and totally different feeding habits!
Man this guy has some real talent, he is going to be our bannerman when we march onto the humans and he is going to spread a message that will send shivers down the long and never ending spines of those Shih-Tzus.
I have recruited pugs from across the many worlds. We come in many shapes and sizes. (although I only seem to notice two colours) We are many, we have eyes on you, both our eyes and we can look at 2 of you at the same time humans!
Meet Pug Trump or as I know him, “Pump”. He is going to make the Pugs great again! He has promised to stop the illegal immigration of those labradors. We are not going to let any labradors in until we know what the hell is going on!? What do these labradors want? Where do they come from? Who funds these evil creatures? We are going to stop all that and focus on our own species and make ourselves great again!
You thought Pump was enough but I have more in store for you. Meet King Pung. He is the largest pug the world has ever seen and has the power of 4 German Shepherds!! It is an unfortunate stereotype that black pugs are larger and stronger but damn son just look at that abdomen of his. The guy is giving me homosexual urgencies and there is nothing my humans can do to stop it.
This is Pug-El. The last of his kind. He was a baby when he was sent away from his planet by his humans before the planet was destroyed. Now he has taken it upon himself to travel around the many worlds and unite the pugs in one community by being their symbol of unity. He wears the human alphabet for ‘S’ on his chest, but actually it is not an ‘S’, on his planet it means lick. Something any pug anywhere would find relatable.
Pugda. Another pug from a different planet. This guy is a bit weird. He always mixes up his sentences and says them in different orders and this make sit confusing as hell. This guy is creepy. I remember when I first met him, he came close to my ears and whispered,” Lick your poop, I will.” Weirdo.
We have lost some soldiers on the way as well. The brave Pugdalf who sacrificed his life so that some of us could procure the last treats in our land. He was truly one of a kind. Maybe he will come back again at some later time in a different color. Who knows. Anyway, I hope you RAP my friend. Rest Among Pugettes.
Our numbers are ever increasing! We have made a deal with some frogs to lick them to convert them into pugs.We are trying to convince some more species to join us in this struggle as well.It is a smart conversion strategy as we have convinced the frogs that our Supreme Pug is the one true Pug and anyone who doesn’t follow him will be sent to Pugatory.
To my fellow pugs I say this, It is time for us to come together as one, irrespective of our color, our licking habits, our pooping schedules, our feed and our tails, it is time for the pugs to rise to the occasion and take what is rightfully…not ours, it does technically belong to the humans BUT WE WILL TAKE IT AND WE WILL LICK IT!! (and maybe pee on it aswell)
This is Major General Kal Pug signing out.
Pugs Not Thugs!